BAADHI YA WATU HUJA KATIKA MAISHA YAKO KAMA BARAKA, BAADHI KAMA MASOMO TU.

Kuna mambo mengi sana ambayo ni muhimu kuyajua katika maisha na kujua aina mbalimbali za watu, kujifunza namna ya kuwasoma wanadamu, na kujua namna ya kutofautisha kati ya kuwa na watu wanaotufaa na wasio tufaa. Ni bora na muhimu sana kujiweka karibu na watu wa aina zote na kujua huyu ana akili gani na huyu ni wa aina gani kwa kuangalia utu wao, tabia zao, mwenendo wao, matendo yao na jinsi wanavyoweza kupambanua mambo. Ni muhimu kujua hili, baadhi ya watu huja katika maisha yako kama Baraka kwa kuwa wanakufaa sana katika maisha na wa kweli kwa kwako, kamwe hawawezi kukudanganya na kamwe hawawezi kukusaliti ama kukuondolea imani nao, hawa siku zote ni kama uti wa mgongo wako , ni sehemu ya maisha yako na huishi nawe bila ya kutafutiana au kuwekeana madoa.

Lakini kuna baadhi ya watu huja katika maisha yako kutoa somo tu, wakati mwingine urafiki, mahusiano vinaenda tofauti na vile ulivyo tarajia ama kukusudia katika maisha yako kutokana na kundi hili la watu na hapo ndipo swala la kujifunza linakuja. Kwani utaona rangi halisi ya mtu , utu halisi wa mtu, mwenendo halisi wa mtu na tabia yake halisi hujitokeza muda huu. Hatua hii ndipo utawajua watu na baadhi ya watu wana karama (gift) kuwasoma wenzao papo kwa papo na kujua huyu ni mtu wa aina gani kwa kuangalia tu baadhi ya mambo kama vile, macho, jinsi anavyoonesha sura yake na matendo halisi ya mwili wake kama vile kujitikisa, geuka geuka n.k hapa waswahili wanaita –body language.

Vitendo vya mtu na macho yake vinaonesha sana kuwa huyu ni mtu wa namna gani? Naona unajiuliza Boniface anaongea nini hapa… nasema hivi, kuna watu wana uwezo wa kumtazama mtu maramoja na wakaeleza mambo ambayo mtu mwingine kamwe hawezi kuyaona hata iweje. Sote tunatakiwa kujifunza namna ya kuwasoma watu na kuwa wahukumu wazuri wa tabia za watu. Ukijifunza hili litakusaidia sana katika maisha yako ya kila siku na yajayo katika kutengeneza marafiki, mahusiano na mambo mbalimbali yanayohusiana na kushirikiana. Ni muhimu sana kuwa makini kabla ya kumwamini mtu na kumpa moyo wako wote, ufahamu wako wate na roho yako pia. Ni rahisi sana kudanganywa na watu ambao wao wanauwezo mkubwa wa kudanganya kwa mambo ambayo tunatamani kuyasikia na wanajaribu sana kukonga nyoyo zetu kwa kubadili akili zetu na mitazamo yetu, kumbuka hutumia mbinu za ziada au triki kali sana. Kujifunza mambo ya muhimu katika maisha ni jambo la muhimu sana, itatusaidia kukua, itatusaidia kwa matatizo yasiyoisaha yanayoweza kujitokeza muda wowote, na hata mambo mapya katika maisha ambayo yulikuwa bado hatujayakabili au kuyafikia. Kuna aina zote za watu katika dunia hii; kuna tabia nyingi sana na mambo mengi kutokana na mazingira halisi. Kwa kadri unavyojinza zaidi ndivyo tunavyozidi kuwa na uwezo zaidi wa kukabiliana na watu, kukabiliana na hatua mbalimbali za ukuaji wa mtu katika maisha yetu. Tunatakiwa kujifunza kutokuamini haraka na kujifunza kutokutoa kwa asilimia mia moja vinginevyo utoapo asilimia mia moja zako uwe na uhakika na kile ukifanyacho. Wakati mwingine maisha yanaweza kuyeyusha kitu kigumu, lakini tunahitaji kuwa imara na tunahitaji kufunga kurasa mbaya tulizopitia na kufungua kurasa safi kwa umakini.

Ndugu zangu, Maisha matamu sana lakini mafupi mno. Kila jambo hutokea kwa sababu fulani, iwe nzuri ama mbaya lakini ni sababu murua, kuna watu wanakuja katika maisha yako na wengine wanatoka kutoka na sababu mbalimbali. Sote tupo katika njia tofauti katika maisha na muhimu zaidi ni nani tunamchukua kuwa nasi katika hii safari na nani tunashirikiana naye naye au nao pamoja. Kuwa na furaha, kuwa na mtazamo chanya, jasiri, mhalisia wa maisha. Kama mambo ni magumu, yanayumba na yanakusononesha kwako sasa, siku zote kumbuka kuwa hakuna masika yasiyo kuwa na ncha. Mungu yupo siku zote kutulinda na kututazama kwa msaada. Kujifunza masomo muhimu tunayopitia katika maisha ni jambo ambalo litakusaidia sana katika maisha ya usoni au mbeleni. Japokuwa mara nyingi hawaamini kama ipo siku wakao-nyookewa kwa matumaini kidogo, mambo makubwa huja kwa uvumilivu, ustahimilivu na maono ya kimikakati. Tunapotegemea na kuendelea kutegemea, ianaweza kuchukua muda nab ado matokeo yakawa tofauti na matarajio yetu. Usikae unatafakari mategemeo yako muda wote, wewe fanya kazi, soma, n.k usijitie nuksi (don’t jinx yourself) usijikandamize mwenyewe na mawazo. Acha watu wazuri katika maisha yako waje kwa nguvu ya asilia au naturall. Hakika Mungu atakuweka katikati ya kundi la watu wema na kila kitu kitakuwa sawia kwako.

Najua fika muda mwingine mambo hayaleti maana kabisa kwa namna gani maisha yako yalivyo au watu ulionao karibu. Tunahitaji kuwa watu wa mtazamo wa mbali na kujikita katika kufanya kazi au kusoma alama za nyakati. Fanya lisilowezekana, liwezekane bila majuto, hakuna kurudi nyumana fanya kile ambacho ni bora kwako wewe ili kupata raha yako mwenyewe na ndoto zako na matakwa yako yatimie. Lazima itokee yatimie, penye nia pana njia siku zote na kwa kila jambo. Anza kujaribu, kwa muda mfupi utaona mabadiliko. Usiogope, kuwa na furaha na endelea kusongesha gurudumu lako la maisha.

Kama somo hili linaeleweka basi nitie moyo kwa kusema asante ukisoma na kama halieleweki uliza ntafafanua nikitulia..


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Kamwe Usiogope kuuliza Wakati Unahitaji Msaada Zaidi.

Umewahi kuwa na hofu ya kuomba msaada wakati unahitaji msaada zaidi? Je, umewahi kuwa katika hali ngumu sana kusita na kufikiria mara mbili mbili juu ya kuomba usaidiwe kwa kitu fulani? Nina hakika sote katika baadhi ya nyakati tuliona aibu kuuliza, lakini naweza kuwahakikishia, si aibu au hofu. Najua wengi wetu wanataka kufanya mambo juu yetu wenyewe na kwa uhuru wao bila ya msaada wa watu wengine, na wengi wetu tunaongoza maisha bila msaada kutoka kwa watu wengine, lakini kamwe usiogope kuuliza wakati unahitaji kusaidiwa, kwa sababu najua kuna mambo hatari ambayo yanaweza kutokea kwa mtu kama hataki kuomba msaada.

Hivyo mambo mengi yanaweza kutokea, ebu filikia mtu fulani akanyanyua kitu kizito na haombi msaada, ni lazima mgongo kuanza kuuma au au kupata maumivu makali sana. Usione aibu kuomba msaada, wakati unaogopa kuomba msaada watu ghafla, wanaanza kuteta ama kukuwazia kama wewe unajiona kuwa shujaa, yaani unatumia kila njia kuuonesha umma kwa bidii na  kuvutia watu kwa kufanya kila kitu mwenyewe, lakini si kufanya hivyo tutaleta picha nzuri. Hapo unadhuru mwili wako na afya yako kwa kufanya hivyo.

Daima ni vema kufikiri kabla ya kutenda jambo kwa sababu wakati msaada upo na wakati huohuo kuna watu wanakuuliza kama unataka msaada juu ya jambo, na wewe unasema hapana, na kufanya yote mimi mwenyewe, basi jua kuwa wakati mwingine ukiwa na haja ya msaada, hawawezi kukusaidia na kukuambia, tulifikiri unaweza kufanya kila kitu mwenyewe?

Si jambo baya wakati watu wanajaribu kuwa msaada kwako kwa manufaa yako na kukupa mikono yao (give you their hands), muda wao na nguvu zao. Katika hali yoyote kama iwe kazini, nyumbani, jambo la kihisia, kimwili, au kitu unachohitaji. Kama hutaki kuuliza, huwezi kujua jibu. Pia kama watu wanakuuliza, mara zote kuwa na heshima unapouliza au kuulizwa. Daima sema, Ndugu, Naweza kukupa msaada kwa hili au haya? Tafadhali nisaidie! au asante mara nyingi utajibiwa hivyo, kwa kufanya hivyo utaona matokeo makubwa sana katika maisha yako.

Vilevile kama mtu ana tatizo gumu la kihisia (stress), huyu mtu anahitaji rafiki au mtu wa kumfariji, mtu huyo atamwambia rafikiye Naomba ushauri juu ya nini cha kufanya katika hali niliyonayo? Si unaweza kunishauri? Kamwe usisite kuomba msaada wakati unahitaji kusaidiwa. Najua inawezekana kuwa ni kitu ambacho watu wengi wana hofu ya watu, lakini unatakiwa kuondoa hofu, kusaidiana kupo daima. Unachotakiwa ni kuuliza tu.

Baadhi ya watu wana kiburi na hivyo kujiona wako juu na wenye nguvu, lakini kwa ndani au kimoyomoyo wanajua fika kwamba wanahitaji msaada, lakini wao hujaribu na kujikakamua kufanya kila kitu kusudi wasipate aibu ya kuuliza. Yaani wanajua wazi ni jambo gumu, lakini wanaamini kuwa wataweza. “Tafadhali” na “Asante” ni maneno ya kichawi. Baadhi ya watu  hata hawewezi kusema asante kwa mtu au watu ambao wamewasaidia au wamefanya mengi kwa ajili yao.

Tafadhali na Asante ni muhimu na maneno mazuri tena ya hekima na busara pia huleta baraka. Ni muhimu sana kutumia maneno haya katika kila kipengele. Hivyo omba msaada leo. Usiogope. Hakuna aliye mkamilifu. Sote hufanya makosa, sote huwa na tofauti, lakini jambo moja unapaswa kujua, msaada si kitu kibaya. kwa mtu yeyote au kitu chochote. Jaribu kujifunza kuomba msaada na kutoa msaada hakika utaona mwenyewe umuhimu wake.   Left hug Right hug


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Don’t Ever Look Back

Boniface Evarist

I have been blogging for a while, and I find myself constantly changing the topic and layout, deleting all of my posts, and giving up hope that my blogging hobby will ever be a success.

My style is kind of obsessive and compulsive with a lot of things. I have rigid rules with myself and some aspects of my life. In terms of my blogging, I always used to force myself to post so many times a day, on this specific topic, at this time of day, and I can’t give up or I’m a failure in my writing, I think you get the picture.

I was thinking to myself how I absolutely love blogging and could never give it up, yet part of me wanted to just say that I was done. I always talk about how I want to make a new beginning for myself each time and then something changes and my attempt at a new beginning fails. That makes me feel like a failure and a worthless being.

I look at my friends’ blogs and they are so easy going with their writing style. They don’t have those specific blogging rules like I do. I envy that somewhat. I’m a strong believer that if something isn’t working in life for you, you should try your hardest to change it in some way, no matter how big or small, to get to that level of stability. Writing is something that I’ve enjoyed for a long time. I was actually going to switch my college major from Computer Science to professional writing.

After talking to my Computer Science adviser, he kind of convinced me to stay with my major because writing is more of a hobby for me that I never, ever want to lose. It would seem like too much of a chore to me if I did it every day, all day, and for money no less. I want to break that chains with my obsessive writing style and enjoy the whole aspect a little more.

Writing is my release and it doesn’t matter at all if I write once a day, once a week, or three times a day, as long as it comes from my heart and I am inspired at the time. I’m not going to go into this long, drawn out introduction about who I am and what I’m doing with my life and all of that stuff. Your job if you read my blog is learning about me in the process and hopefully learning from my successes, mistakes, and words of wisdom for lack of a better word.

What I will describe is the title of my blog. I change the title of my blog a lot, just like I said I change the layout, style, and topic. This one seems to be a keeper though. I was walking across campus tonight from my very last class of the semester. I had just texted my one friend and was walking to go get some food at the convenience store. I got a text message from an anonymous number.

I had recently deleted a lot of numbers from my phone of people who honestly were just bringing me down in life. I can come back to that later I guess. I assumed that this was one of those numbers and hit delete, saying to myself “don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back” and continued walking across campus in the dark. Then another message came up saying who it was. In fact, it was my ex girlfriend who I had broken up with about two months ago.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I replied to the message assuming something was wrong. When she texted me back she said that he just wanted to say hi and see how I was doing. When I got the message, I immediately reminded myself, yet again, “don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back” and deleted it again. This lady was, as always, persistent, and texted me again asking how I was. I couldn’t just keep deleting the messages at that point.

I felt almost like the next step was to stand up for myself. I told her that I was doing fine and asked if she could please leave me alone. She sent me another message and I just said goodbye, “don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back” which I know is getting redundant but that’s the point that I want to stress here.

Life is too short to fill your mind wondering what would have happened or could have happened. Life is full of enjoyment if you look at the things that make you smile. I was walking across campus after putting my phone back in my purse when I got a whistle from some gal coming out of this building. Not like the ‘hey you’ one but rather they ‘hey you’re superb’ whistle.

All I could do was smile and watch as she followed behind me until I turned to go to the parking lot. Life is also full of pain. I have a sinus infection right now, so when I did get home I ended up with a moderately high fever and the feeling that I was going to pass out. This was an all too familiar feeling, but I haven’t had it in awhile.

It’s always scary when you’re walking around about to pass out, and when you have tingling in your legs on top of that. I talked to my mom and did the logical things. I weighed myself. I am recovered from my eating disorder, which means I don’t weigh myself unless I need to for my doctor. My weight was low, just on the border of where I ‘need to be’ but not dangerous or low enough that it would really explain why I was about to pass out.

Honestly, that number is just a number. It doesn’t define my worth or value by any means. I tried to take my pulse and it was so hard to feel my heart beat, at my wrist and even at my chest. My pulse and blood pressure tend to be all over the place. When I have a lot of anxiety, it is very much above the limit.

I’ve had times where it’s been dangerously low. For awhile I’ve been to the stage where, with the help of my low blood pressure medication, it pretty much stays in the normal limit. Tonight, my pulse was pretty much right in the middle of that range. I guessed that either my blood sugar or blood pressure had to be low then. What I decided to do was lay down until I felt better.

I ended up falling asleep, which is why I’m still awake right now. I don’t have any work due tomorrow for college anyway because I only have one class that day. When I woke up I was feeling a lot better. I had to take my antibiotics at that time anyway, so I had my mom grab me some food. When my blood pressure is low, I need salt. When my blood sugar is low, I need sugar. I ate an individual bag of potato chips, took my medicine, and then ate a chocolate candy bar, all while drinking Gatorade.

I’m feeling so much better right now. Last night, too, I was losing a lot of hope. I started feeling really, really depressed. It was back to me thinking how ‘no one understands’ and ‘I’m not really worth anything’ and all that sort of stuff. This lady who I’ve kind of been interested in is an old acquittance from high school. He’s been totally ignoring me. That alone makes me feel worthless, yet on top of that, some lady I dated for awhile friend requested me on Facebook. At first I hit the ‘not now’ button. When I signed online on my laptop, his name was still there. It made me think that ‘at least she was thinking of me’ and ‘at least she noticed when I deleted my old account’ so I added him.

We weren’t much more than friends, so in my mind me adding him would be more acceptable than the lady who texted me earlier. We were in a relationship for two and a half years. That adds to it, a lot. At this point, I’m just relieved that I’m almost done college for the semester.

I have a lot of stuff planned this Summer with my family and friends. I have to plan and schedule programming things ahead of time because it really helps my depression when I know that I have ‘something’ to do. As nice as it would be to have a Summer romance, I know that I have my family, my friends, and my head on my shoulders.
I’m still holding out hope that she’s not totally ignoring me, but I’m realizing that I don’t need any kind of relationship with a lady to base my happiness on. Time heals all wounds, hopefully.

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